#24. Flag Football (Wednesday, August 8, 2018)

What was your best of day…of finding success in something different?

We called ourselves the “Inflation Busters” because we were all economists. And in this six-team recreational flag football league we were pretty good, and not just for economists.

Mark Richard, the former Waterloo linebacker, coordinated our defense. And although we only ran three types of plays the entire season, they got the job done.

On offense, we were led by Jake Cullen, the former Waterloo second-string quarterback. And Jake had a wide range of plays planned, all with their own acronyms and methodically-planned routes. For those, we knew who we could count on: James Lajeunesse, Nate Connors, and Mark as wide receivers; Joe Ferreira and Nick Malhotra as running backs. The rest of us¹…we just hoped to fool the other team for long enough that we were relevant. (Though, I did have one game where I caught a touchdown plus a two-point conversion of the last play of the game to give us a 21-20 victory.)

So we finished the regular season with a record of 5-3-2. We were the 2nd-seed in a four-team playoff. And a couple of days after a wild keg stand night (#70), we played our semifinal game – and squeaked by 14-13. And on that day, the field was muddy and wet, so the 1st-seed – who relied on a strong running game – got called for five rushing flags and lost by a score to the 4th-seed.

So here we stand a week later, on this Wednesday night. Just one win away from the championship – and we like our odds.

Our main motivation to win: to stick it to Lauren, the (male) commissioner/one of the refs², who we jokingly called an arrogant douchebag. (After our first game, he sent an e-mail to all the team captains telling them that after observing them play, everyone looked to be on the same level – except for “The Replacements” (who weren’t even that bad); so in order to make the games fun for everyone, from now on he would be playing for them. They still finished last.)

The game is a total shootout. We get to an early two-score lead – which is maintained when I pull a last-second flag from their running back before first down, while banging my forehead on Joe’s leg in the process (he takes it a lot worse than I do). From there, we just keep exchanging touchdowns after touchdowns. On each of our drives, we get to third down multiple times; but every single time, Jake is able to thread a perfect pass to one of the three go-to guys to keep it going. But then the other team comes right back and does the same to us.

We maintain the lead throughout the game, while I pray for the clock to tick down (it feels like it’s going twice as slow as normal). But then, finally, it’s over. We win 41-27.

We all celebrate with pizza and Gatorade (Lauren’s treat). Lauren then hands us our wooden replica of the Vince Lombardi Trophy (which we can’t put on display in our atrium because he needs it back). We get our photo taken.

And I still can’t believe it. I just won something: and it had nothing to do with math or quizbowl or economics or any of that other typical stuff I had always pinned my self-worth on. It was an athletic event. An intense and wildly competitive athletic event.

I could finally say something that very few people with my life background could ever imagine themselves saying. I was a flag football champion.

Which included Ray Bonner, who came to the third game and none others (despite paying part of the team’s entry fee); and Heng Dong, this tall, awkward guy who was just really, really bad at catching the ball. He only caught one ball the whole season…and it was punt from our own player (Nate Connors) so it didn’t count.
Who apparently made $100K+ a year from running this and two other leagues.