#42. Learning to Swim (Monday, July 14, 2003)

What was your best day…of learning something new in an unconventional way?

Disclaimer: I am not a role model. So do not try this at home.

Every summer, Carleton University – a very mediocre university based in Ottawa – holds one of the best sports day camps in North America. All the money that should have been going to academics instead went to some pretty kick-ass sports facilities, plus the largest lunch buffet I had ever seen outside of Vegas.

It was an epic two weeks.

On the first day, that Monday, we had to do a swimming test in the Olympic-sized pool. Where, having only recently gotten over my aversion to putting my head in the water, I swam so awkwardly that one of the counselors called me over and told me I needed to take swimming lessons.

I had no intention of taking any type of lessons at a camp, so I said screw that and somehow got away with it without ever seeing that guy again. (Though during the swim later that day in the afternoon, I did see a guy that I think was him but on crutches pointing at me aggressively. But then nothing happened. Weird.)

Instead, I foolishly joined the group that was learning to play water polo. And it was quite serious, too – we were running through some fairly advanced strategies, and in the deepest end of the pool. Apparently, my horrible swimming never manifested itself during these two weeks, as I was not only keeping up with but also playing well against some of the better swimmers at our camp. Looking back, I don’t know how I did it, but it gave me a confidence that would stay with me every time I went into the water thereon. I suppose being thrown into the fire (water) just like that forced me to learn fast. Very, very fast.

Other (less meaningful) highlights from the camp:

• It turned out that I was pretty good at squash and ultimate Frisbee, but not archery (where, even after one full week, I never quite learned how to properly hold the bow).
• The best friend I made there was this Czech guy, Dalek, who I would sit with at the lunch buffet every day for the first week – where, as relative strangers, we ended up talking about almost every aspect of each other’s lives. But then near the end of the second week, he started explaining his witchcraft theories and telling stories about how his family used invisible gremlins to trash some neighbor’s yard…
• Another strange camp incident started when, during the lunch buffet, I refused to share my rib of pork with two older guys, Scott and Nick, who had forgotten to get it. I left later to get something else (I ate a lot) and came back to see Nick gone from our table.

“Where did Nick go?”

“He went outside to kill himself, after the trauma of seeing you not share your rib of pork.”

• Nick returned a few minutes later, and that would have been the end of it. Except, he was absent for the entire second week and no one knew why. So all week, whenever Scott saw me he’d point and whisper “Murderer.” I never found out what actually happened to Nick. Hopefully, nothing did.
• I also grew something like two inches during my two weeks there, so that was nice as well (#67).

Now, if only every critical life skill were that easy (and fun) to learn…