#62. Brian and Lucky Gangstarr’s Birthday Party (Saturday, September 22, 2012)

What was your best day…of realizing that your big weakness was not necessarily always a weakness?

Party time! Let’s see what we’ve got here:

This is my first party at Duke, so I’m pumped. The last time that I really drank was last St. Patrick’s Day (#106) in Waterloo, and this is a completely new environment (#68), so my anticipation for this one was probably one of the highest ever.
Brian Zhang is a second-year Economics PhD student who’s in the same Asset Pricing class as me. Lucky Gangstarr is his cat, that he got on a (previous) birthday. The apartment he shares with David Lao (another second-year PhD student) is one of the really nice new ones just north of the campus. They’ve got a whole barbecue station set up next to the pool. As usual, I’m one of the first ones there.¹
There ends up being a pretty large crowd; a lot of the PhD students, as well as some of us MAs and a few guys from other programs. It’s probably here where I first realize just how much fun it is talking with new people I didn’t know at a party, and hearing them talk about their unique lives and topical interests.
That’s a big deal for me. Because growing up I had always been led to believe (correctly, for the most part), by parents and peers, that I was “not good” socially – as if it was some blanket quality of myself. But as I learned on this day; just because you’re awkward at something, doesn’t mean that you can’t genuinely enjoy it for what it is. And so, from then on, at any new social event I go to, I make it a point to talk to the strangers first.
I join a group of eight or so guys just sitting at a table drinking right next to the pool, and we shit around like we’re all old friends – even though this is my first time meeting most of them. Awesome.
Several hours in, one of the guys calls out: “Hey, there’s Brian with his girlfriend.” I look and he’s holding hands with Daniela, a Moldovan PhD student who’s universally regarded as very good-looking. That shocks me. (She ended up transferring to Clemson, but the two do end up getting married five years later.)
Later on, I’m chatting with Tannis (Greek PhD student) on the fun topic of the Greek economy in 2012. Then this Russian girl I know in my program, Jelena, comes up and greets me, I introduce her to Tannis, and they seem to really, really get along, so I leave them be… (To me, that totally counted as me setting them up – a fact that I took a lot of irrational pride in for the year or so that it lasted.)
I need to go to the washroom, but Brian seems to be too drunk to recall any nearby. So after navigating a maze of stairs for about twenty minutes, I find an exit and go to the TGIF’s next door. Then I see a short path from the strip mall to the pool area that I didn’t see before…
We end up moving it up to Brian’s apartment. But then when some people head to leave, I by instinct ask for a ride and head out with them. Five seconds later, I realize that I really, really wanted to stay at the party for longer, but now it’s too late without being exceedingly awkward. I regret it pretty badly. Especially since, heading out the door, I overhear that Ezekiel (my mentor and fellow Waterloo grad) and his crew – the rowdy second-year MAs – are in the lobby waiting to come up. I tell myself that I’ll never, ever leave a party early again as long there’s any semblance of anything going on…

Though I’m getting better. Only ten minutes before the next person this time (#86).